Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
