Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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