it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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