It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I need a burrito and a hug.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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