Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
