I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My feet surprised me
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
