worst night to have a conscience
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
