Porn is love you can see.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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