Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
