there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
