There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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