I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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