By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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