Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
