I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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