I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
