Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
