Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
