Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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