I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We need to get me chipped asap
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
