I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize