38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another day, another engagement, another cat
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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