Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
