turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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