____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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