Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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