Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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