Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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