i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
