he told me I talked like a deaf person
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
