Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
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He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
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I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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