I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize