white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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