Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The Olympian is in my bed
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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