I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
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For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
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I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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