the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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