Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
