I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
