im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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