he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
As shirtless as possible
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
