I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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