sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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