Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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