Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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