It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
