What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
