So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
