Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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