i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You can't just leave with hair like that
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
