Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
