fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
