One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
