And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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