oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You can't motorboat a personality
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
