dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
